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I don’t especially like being vulnerable. It’s not a trait you often see in high-performing leaders, and it makes me feel like I’m letting people down and appearing weak at the same time. But this is something I’m working on at the moment — trying to change my mindset about vulnerability as a strength instead of a deficit.
Why? Because I’ve learned that vulnerability actually opens more doors than it closes. It’s soft, it’s relatable, it makes me more human and less robotic, which also greatly diminishes the toxic boss vibes employers (okay, me) can sometimes give off.
As I’ve been traveling down this path toward allowing myself to be more vulnerable, I’ve discovered that two personality traits in particular have contributed to blocking that path: my perfectionism and my need for control.
Now, I’ll admit that both of these attributes have played a large part in the success of my PR firm, but I now realize that they’ve also been key ingredients in a leadership style that has led to some of my team members feeling disempowered. That’s the exact opposite of what I’ve been going for.
Related: Are You the Bottleneck? 3 Ways to Overcome Founder’s Syndrome
Replacing disempowerment with empowerment
Yep, unbeknownst to me, the control tendencies that I thought were responsible for my company’s steady growth over the past 15 years were actually limiting the growth and stymying the creativity of my staff. It took a lot of tough conversations with a variety of people for me to arrive at this realization, but once I did, I knew I had to do something to remedy the situation. Because when people feel like their wings are being clipped in their roles, they’ll fly away.
If I wanted to continue to scale my business to the ever-changing landscape of public relations, I needed to share some control of my company with other capable hands and, in the process, share the wins and replace a “me” with a “we” mentality. Most of all, I needed to develop trust in my team’s amazing skills and insights. The steps I took to do that — steps I’m still in the middle of taking — have allowed me to expand my vision as an entrepreneur and become a better, more forward-looking and more grounded leader.
Here are three ways to develop trust in your team.
1. Hire incredible people
When I first went out on my own, I’d hire everybody and anybody who struck my fancy. I’d stand in line at a bakery, get to talking with a lady with a great personality, and suddenly I was asking her if she wanted to write my pitches. At a craft store framing my daughter’s latest certificate, I’d meet a clerk who shared his love of photography. Before I knew it, I was offering him a gig at my next scheduled photo shoot.
This approach may have carried a lot of good intentions and may have generated a lot of goodwill, but it ultimately translated to me working with people who just didn’t have sufficient experience to meet the requirements of the job on their own. Needless to say, this didn’t lead to independence on either side, so I needed to rethink my hiring model.
Nowadays, I look for exceptional skills from the get-go. You don’t have to have years upon years of targeted experience for every position on my staff — I’m a big proponent of giving beginners a chance and nurturing burgeoning talent — but I do have to see tremendous potential and sense tremendous drive.
With my background in crisis comms for well-known figures, I think of my staff as “A-listers.” Every single one of them currently under my employ shines in their area of expertise and excels in their field. Because of this, I feel entirely comfortable handing off tasks to them that I used to insist on doing myself.
Related: Are You Running Your Business — or Is It Running You? How to Escape ‘Founder Mode’ and Learn to Let Go
2. Step away from the inbox and Zoom screen
Not so long ago, I had thousands of emails in my inbox every day. I am not exaggerating: thousands. That’s because I had every member of my staff cc me on everything. I am not exaggerating: everything.
Over time, this wasn’t just unmanageable; it became obvious that it was unnecessary. Did I really need to see a note asking a client if they preferred using or not using their middle initial? More than the sheer volume of words I was scanning every day (and every night and every weekend), an internal company evaluation I commissioned revealed to me that my staff really did not like my “cc policy” at all. They felt spied on, scrutinized and, of course, totally untrusted.
For both practical and people-driven reasons, I ended my reign as the cc queen, and everyone is much happier for it. Not only was including myself in all written exchanges inviting everyone in that exchange to barrage me with follow-up questions and seek my direct approval before making the next smallest move, but it was severely restricting their decision-making capacity, their belief in themselves and their desire to go above and beyond.
I no longer see every email that goes out to my clientele, and I no longer demand to be on all client Zoom calls. (Caveat: I do still have junior staff include me in their communication threads, but for more seasoned pros, after their initial trial period has passed, I lay off the gas and let them drive their own messages and videoconferences.) This has been a huge time-saver, but far more importantly, it’s been a huge lesson in the value of letting go: My business didn’t fall apart, we’re still standing stronger than ever, no one needed my 24-hour surveillance in the first place.
3. Bring on a project manager
Okay, so I know this step will cost you some money, but it’ll be worth every penny. Here’s why: When you’re free from all the nitty-gritty operations of your business — when you’re no longer making the agendas, populating the databases, answering HR queries, fielding requests for time off, booking travel arrangements, restocking the soap and toilet paper — guess what? You’re actually free to concentrate on the future of your business.
You can pursue new clients, develop new products or services, and dream new dreams. And here’s the best part: This person does not have to be an expert in your field! If you make gutter guards, this person does not have to be a home improvement pro. If you’re a restaurateur, this person does not have to be a culinary school graduate. All this person needs to do and do extremely well is manage, organize, keep things rolling and keep things on track.
I call my project manager the “fairy godmother” of my business because what I count on her to do is fly over my operations with an aerial view and wave her magic wand where she spots potential trouble. Her role is to unclog stoppages in the workflow, nudge team members to meet their deadlines and hold us all accountable for our responsibilities.
This person does not have to be on-site; they can definitely work remotely, like my project manager does. But having added this position to my staff has eased my compulsion to micromanage, which was the biggest symptom of my now-waning control freakdom.
Related: How Entrepreneurs Can Learn From Project Managers
Conclusion
I guess what most of this amounts to is the word “delegation.” If you’re an extremely busy business owner like me, with lots of other obligations and activities outside of work as well, I seriously doubt your business can thrive and your team can soar without learning to delegate. You’ve got to try it on for size. You’ve got to experiment with its elasticity. You’ve got to decide what you do and do not want to relinquish.
But never underestimate the power of delegation. When you let go and just let your staff do what you hired them to do, you’ll be amazed at the results they’ll produce. They’ll still look to you for leadership and guidance, but they won’t slam on the brakes and stall progress waiting for you to give them the green light at every turn.
You don’t have to do it right out of the gate and you don’t have to do it all at once, but when you loosen your grip on the daily details and entrust the professionals you’ve brought on to do an utterly professional job for you, I promise you, you will not fall. Instead, you’ll all catch each other.
